So my 5 year old son now plays soccer in a U-6 league, which not only makes me feel like a real parent, but it has also opened myeyes to a whole new universe in which play dates are planned with the importance of Fortune 500 board meetings and your parents bank their child’s entire future on what color uniform they wear.  In the end, win or lose, every kid gets a snack and a trophy at the end of the season, but the competition among the parents on the sidelines can get pretty fierce.

My wife and I decided that we just want our son to have fun and enjoy what he’s doing.  Be it soccer, music, or synchronized swimming – if he doesn’t enjoy doing it then what’s the point?  We may suggest it, but in the end it is his decision as to what activity he’s involved in.  Our only rule is that he picks one, and only one, activity.  We’re all about him getting some culture in his life, but enough is enough.  Some of the other parents do not share our perspective.  The other day my wife overheard some of the other mom’s talking about how their 5 year old sons were playing soccer and t-ball, and how difficult it was to balance those activities with the play dates, the french cooking lessons, and their other children’s activities.  Some of these kids literally spend their entire weekend in the car.  When they are not in the car their changing uniforms, playing sports, attending the “right” birthday parties, and being tested to get into the right schools.  When your 5 year old needs a Blackberry and a personal assistant, things may have gone too far.

We have laws against child abuse – laws against mental abuse, physical abuse, nutrition abuse, and sexual abuse.  These are good and necessary laws that protect children from having more stress put on them than a child should have.  After spending a few Saturdays on the sidelines, I’d like to recommend a law against a new kind of child abuse: Time Abuse.  To demand that your child be involved in everything is not only an unnecessary source of anxiety for your child, but it also sets him up to think that quality of life and self-worth is only measured through busyness.  It robs our children of values like family and personal creativity and passion.  Its no wonder that our society thinks a 40 hour work week is lazy and that 24 hours in a day is still not enough.  If this parenting trend continues then our children are going to start having a mid-life crisis when they’re 12 years old.  Don’t even get me started on what I think about 10 year olds being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders.  I’m not saying children don’t have problems.  They do.  I just think the source of the problem has less to do with them and more to do with their parents.  Its no wonder underage drinking, substance abuse, runaways and std statistics are on the rise in children (i didn’t say teens – i said children).  I can barely balance my checkbook much less attend school, play 3 sports at once, and learn a foreign language in between play dates, birthday parties, and private school interviews.  When you’re 5 your biggest concern should be if you made it through the night without wetting the bed, not what college you plan on attending in 13 years.  Enough is enough!

So consider this my word of caution to all the soccer moms (and dads) out there:  Your child is not a time machine.  You can’t, and shouldn’t, try to re-live your glory days through your children.  Making your child’s life fuller, will not necessarily make your life fuller.  I want my child to be successful just as much as the next parent, but I don’t believe my child’s “importance” will make me feel more important.  Stop and smell the roses.  Let your kid be a kid – he’ll have plenty of time to be an adult when he grows up.

We have city curfews, child labor laws, and nutrition guidelines.  Isn’t it time we have a Time Abuse Law?

Write your senators, people.  And while you’re at it, leave a comment below of your thoughts on Parent/Child Time Abuse.